![]() What listening really entailsĪs a therapist, my sole job is to listen, be in the present moment, and hold space for another person to share, express, and process thoughts and questions. Listening changes over time, and can become a struggle within relationships, marriages, and self as years, and circumstances get bigger and more stressful, and maybe it’s even more important to know “how to do it effectively,” at this point. But truly listening with intent, and purpose without having your hand on the “go” button for your turn, takes learning. Now, yes there is some in between, and we can’t all listen and listen well 100% of the time. Let’s be honest, my kids saying,” Mom, mom, mommy, mama…” over and over, I may stop listening. ![]() ![]() Listening is a behavior, an action, and from a young age, we learn how to do it well, selectively, or not at all. At every stage of development, there is a common thread, we are asked,” are you listening,” told to “please listen,” and demanded,” why aren’t you listening to me?” The golden thread is listening, but no one truly defines what that means, or how to do it. You were talking, but no one was really listening, and because no one was really listening, you disengaged. Like the big thought bubble is completely empty because truly, there was no exchange of information. Or they actually do, and start by giving you an answer when you weren’t asking a question. We all know that person, people, and at the end of those conversations, walk away feeling unheard and frustrated. Have you ever talked to another person, and become so distracted by the quivering of their lips? I’m not talking, sad quivering, I’m talking, the quivering where you know they are dying! absolutely dying! to say something the moment you stop talking.
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